my brother watches tv at full volume so you can imagine my surprise when i wake up to a loud police siren, a woman screaming then a velvety american voice saying “we will catch whoever did this” 

a nice wake up call indeed 

guys what should i do for my birthday?

i just hit myself so hard with my laptop i gave myself a black eye.

good job ashlie good job

my hand slippeded 

WHUPS. I took the mic back to my seat

WHUPS.

I took the mic back to my seat

the-average-gatsby:

alright you guys have posted some pretty bad jokes on here but not one comes close to this doozy

brace yourselves

so there’s a far-off place that consists of a perfectly triangular lake surrounded by land, with three kingdoms on the three sides of the lake. the first kingdom is rich and powerful, filled with wealthy, prosperous people. the second kingdom is more humble, but has its fair share of wealth and power, too. the third kingdom is struggling and poor, and barely has an army.

the kingdoms eventually go to war over control of the lake, as it’s a valuable resource to have. the first kingdom sends 100 of their finest knights, clad in the best armor and each with their own personal squire. the second kingdom sends 50 of their knights, with fine leather armor and a few dozen squires of their own. the third kingdom sends their one and only knight, an elderly warrior who has long since passed his prime, with his own personal squire.

the night before the big battle, the knights in the first kingdom drink and make merry, partying into the late hours of the night. the knights in the second kingdom aren’t as well off, but have their own supply of grog and also drink late into the night.

in the third camp, the faithful squire gets a rope and slings it over the branch of a tall tree, making a noose, and hangs a pot from it. he fills the pot with stew and has a humble dinner with the old knight.

the next morning, the knights in the first two kingdoms are hung over and unable to fight, while the knight in the third kingdom is old and weary, unable to get up. in place of the knights, the squires from all three kingdoms go and fight. the battle lasts long into the night, but by the time the dust settled, only one squire was left standing - the squire from the third kingdom.

and it just goes to show you that the squire of the high pot and noose is equal to the sum of the squires of the other two sides

(via abadplanwellexecuted)

Share 6 random things about yourself and then tag 10 awesome people. I was tagged by the amazing chocolatequeennk

  1. im currently doing this from my college advisement office because im getting my school shit done and i feel like my soul is being sucked from me 
  2. im a terrible student thats why im in this predicament 
  3. i suffer from lazyass genius student syndrome 
  4. i was told from a young age that i was a tad bit more advanced than other kids and it only ruined me 
  5. i am totally aware that this sounds like im saying im smarter than everyone, im not, because if i was smart i would have probably done my homework
  6. when i was four years old my brother(then 13) flung a fork at me (we were in the heat of battle ok) and it got stuck in my thigh 

im tagging these wonderful people randomly :) 

abadplanwellexecuted lyricalprose rycbaryana10 outcastfromgallifrey gallifreyshawkeye bittie752 infinitefandoms notgingerandalittlebitfoxy 

capaldisbluetardis:

Yes I know that’s not Capaldi’s Tardis…I just love that oneFor some crazy reason 1,000 people decided to click on that “follow” button on the top of my blog and I can’t even…why?. You’re amazing. All of you. I decided to do a little follow forever for the people that make my everyday here so great. bolded are mutuals, non bolded are people who’s blogs I stalk also love…but all of you, everyone, has a message on hover. It took me so long! I hope you like it.
a-c
abbbington - allrightfine - amypund - arjuska - badwolfrun - barnesbuchananbucky - billiepipere - billiepiiper - billieviper - blueboxtraveller - brilliantfantasticgeronimo - burningupasun - capaldilieu - capaldisneeze - cardinalcapaldi - clarasity - claraslastecho - clarissafairchaild - cosima-niehauus - creamcolored-converse - cxsimasdelphine
d-g
david-tennants-little-fangirl - dearpadfoot - divergentfaults - doortotomorrow - duckllingswan - emynhen - evil-bean - fadewithfury - felixdwkins - fezwhatfez - flypup - fuckyeahecclesex - gallifreyan-detective - gallifreyslostson - galllifreyfalls - geekmonkeyy - greatspacedustbin - gillanvillain - grumpytwelve
h-m
@hardythehermitcrab - jackdonaghy - jennacolernan - jennapeter - jqckharkness - kilodalton - lilbitfoxy - linnealurks - lucyrps - malfcys - mickeysmth - mindpvlace - minduiquitelikehope - moltobenebananas 
n-p
noblesammy - nowrunalong - notgingerandalittlebitfoxy - nightofthedoctor - oncebeforetheend - oodwhovian - pattroughton- pctronus - poncls - pondslive - ponnd - primrosetylers - pulledacross
q-s
rapiddescent - restnoweleven - riversnogs - rivursong - rointheta - rorywilliamx - rosetylr - rudennotgingr - sarahmcnning - sassykidneys - savingbucky - smithsclara - stormaqeddon
t-z
 tenallonsy - tennantaddict - tennantmeister - tenshair - thebadddestwolf - thedoctordances - theponcls - thexlostxgirlx - - thiswandcouldbealittlemoresonic - tinyconfusion - trenzalores - trenzalours - tsukana- twelvthdoctor - weboftime - weeping-who-girl
Networks (yes, here's a message for all of you too!)
Donna - Eleventh - AfterDark - SassyNine - HtmlHeroes
If I forgot about someone, please please let me know. It might have happened!

capaldisbluetardis:

Yes I know that’s not Capaldi’s Tardis…I just love that one
For some crazy reason 1,000 people decided to click on that “follow” button on the top of my blog and I can’t even…why?. You’re amazing. All of you. I decided to do a little follow forever for the people that make my everyday here so great. 
bolded are mutuals, non bolded are people who’s blogs I stalk also love…but all of you, everyone, has a message on hover. It took me so long! I hope you like it.

a-c

abbbington - allrightfine - amypund - arjuska - badwolfrun barnesbuchananbucky - billiepipere - billiepiiper - billieviper - blueboxtraveller - brilliantfantasticgeronimo - burningupasun capaldilieu - capaldisneeze - cardinalcapaldi clarasity - claraslastecho - clarissafairchaild - cosima-niehauus - creamcolored-converse - cxsimasdelphine

d-g

david-tennants-little-fangirl - dearpadfoot - divergentfaults - doortotomorrow - duckllingswan - emynhen evil-bean - fadewithfury - felixdwkins - fezwhatfez - flypup - fuckyeahecclesex - gallifreyan-detective - gallifreyslostson - galllifreyfalls - geekmonkeyy - greatspacedustbin - gillanvillain - grumpytwelve

h-m

@hardythehermitcrab - jackdonaghy - jennacolernan - jennapeter - jqckharkness - kilodalton - lilbitfoxy - linnealurks - lucyrps - malfcys - mickeysmth - mindpvlace - minduiquitelikehope - moltobenebananas 

n-p

noblesammy - nowrunalong - notgingerandalittlebitfoxy - nightofthedoctor - oncebeforetheend - oodwhovian - pattroughtonpctronus - poncls pondslive - ponnd - primrosetylers - pulledacross

q-s

rapiddescent - restnoweleven - riversnogs - rivursong - rointheta - rorywilliamx - rosetylr - rudennotgingr - sarahmcnning - sassykidneys - savingbucky - smithsclara - stormaqeddon

t-z

 tenallonsy - tennantaddict - tennantmeister - tenshair - thebadddestwolf - thedoctordances - theponcls - thexlostxgirlx - - thiswandcouldbealittlemoresonic - tinyconfusion - trenzalores - trenzalours - tsukanatwelvthdoctor - weboftime - weeping-who-girl

Networks (yes, here's a message for all of you too!)

Donna - Eleventh - AfterDark - SassyNine - HtmlHeroes

If I forgot about someone, please please let me know. It might have happened!

lilbitfoxy:

We will catch whoever did this

(via fiftysevenacademics)

"How do you sleep at night?"
"Who says I sleep?"

(via badwolfrun)

I want him to be shirtless, too. Is that really too much to ask?

i dont want my computer to combust, one thing at a time eh 

If your not excited about gracepoint this new trailer should do the trick

david holding a burrito looking thing with an american accent like what more do you people want 

BWAHAHAHAHA!!! Okay, I think I may have a slight issue with enjoying other’s pain as I broke into a true evil laugh

hermitinthetardis replied to your post: chocolatequeennk replied to your post:…

i don’t know which fic that is, but if you’re looking for angst i will gladly and shamelessly say i wrote a short angsty thing a couple of days ago if you want to maybe *nudge nudge* look? (and the guilt of self promotion followed her to the end…)

so i just read that

eveil 

so evil 

A fic where everything ends well and then one of them turned around to realise the other was dying. Is Behind Closed Doors sad? I try to avoid sad.

Behind closed doors sad?? nooooooo not sad AT ALL  DONT READ IT OH GOD DONT DO IT SAVE YOURSELF 

Ashlie.Florida.18.

I like Doctor Who, Sherlock, Broadchurch, Harry Potter, Jesus, David Tennants face, Chocolate frosting and posting a lot of unrelated things that happen to me

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